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SETTING BOUNDARIES

A Life Without Boundaries

A life without boundaries is a life out of control.

When I think about boundaries I recall being a young professional eager to prove my worth to my boss. Can you imagine? I already had the job. I was crushing my goals but still felt the need to get validaliation. I worked extra hours, took on additional work, and volunteered at ever opportunity possible. Then it became expected. They expected/assume I didn't mind. What was my reward? Some preferential treatment, visibility, and acknowledgment. But was it worth it? Notice I did not list increase in pay. Though I did earn raises, I am certain it had nothing to do with my people-pleasing actions. 

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SETTING BOUNDARIES

There is a cost associated with not having boundaries in life. Let me tell you how it cheapens your dating experience. Let's need to define boundaries. A boundary is a limit set for personal reasons. It is no surprise that boundaries vary from person to person. What might be an offense to you may be completely acceptable to the next person. Setting boundaries are all about you. As you mature and experience life, your boundaries will change. This is why it is important to remain self-aware. It has nothing to do with anyone else. It is all about you.

COMMUNICATING BOUNDARIES

If you set boundaries you need to communicate them. So many people shy away from having these conversations during the dating phase. They do not want to appear to be too uptight or look like a prude. Forgetting boundary setting is their protection. For example, if you are uncomfortable with holding hands on the first date, it is important to speak up.  Avoiding talking about boundaries can send the wrong signal to your suitor. They might feel that you are open to this type of physical interaction. As a result, they might feel confident to take it a bit further. You could unknowingly sabotage your dating experience. It could completely unknowingly change how they see you or how you see them.  A conversation about boundaries when they are crossed benefits you in the long run. sabotaging your

BENEFITS OF COMMUNICATING BOUNDARIES:

1) It can expose/reveal their level of respect for you and your wishes.

2) Help them understand how you like to be treated in general. 

3) Makes communicating boundaries easier.

4) Protect yourself from uncomfortable situations.

5) Improves your self-awareness.

IN CONCLUSION :

We teach people how to treat us. Communicating your needs, concerns and expectations should always be welcomed. Likewise, you should encourage people to be open about theirs. Too often people are turned off or walk away from amazing people because they failed to communicate boundaries. Once you begin communicating your boundaries, it becomes easy. 

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES ON THIS TOPIC:

Podcast Episode: Setting Boundaries: Why SetBoundaries   

Free Content : Six Signs You Need to Set Boundaries